Here’s what we covered:

  1. What is freak out parenting?
  2. What does it communicate to our kids?
  3. Why do we do it?
  4. What is best for our kids?
  5. How not to freak out?

October 23, 2024 Radio Interview & Podcast:


 

What is freak out parenting?

  • It is correcting our children with an overboard, highly emotional reaction to something they are doing wrong.
  • For example: My young son was riding his new bike too fast down our street. I yelled at him, ‘Slow down!’ My yelling scared him, and he ended up crashing. He was not in immediate danger when I yelled at him.
  • Movie example: Mr Peabody and Sherman(2014)- Sherman is flying a glider quite well. Mr Peabody sees him and yells, “But Sherman, you don’t know how to fly!” Sherman responds, “I don’t?” and then began to freak out and crashed the glider.

What does it communicate to our kids?

  • Our fear that they will really mess things up.
  • Our belief that they can’t handle their lives.

Why do we do it?

  • We want the best for our kids.
  • The overreaction is because of our distrust of God- that He really will take care of them.

What is best for our kids?

  • They need to learn to take calculated risks and be prudently cautious.
  • Struggling with life and wrestling with God is the way we learn to trust Him, that He loves and takes care of us, especially when things go awry.
  • Psalm 119:71- “It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.”

How not to freak out?

In the natural order, our response to a child’s error needs to be:

  • Stop and breathe.
  • Think and ask yourself:
    What is the worst that can happen?
    How can I get my child to discover this truth on their own?
    Is it better to speak about the lesson now or later?
  • “Fight all error, but do it with good humor, patience, kindness, and love. Harshness will damage your own soul and spoil the best cause.” -St John of Kanty
  • “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, for the wrath of man does not accomplish God’s justice.” -James 1:19-20

Spiritually, we need to:

  • Call on God for help in that moment. Consider praying Jesus’ name or asking Mary to guide our response before we respond.
  • Memorize Scripture verses and repeat one or more in our mind:
    • “All things work to together for the good for those who love Him.” -Rom 8:28
    • “For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.'” -Is 41:13
    • “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jer 29:11
    • “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”-Phil 4:6-7
  • Jesus quoted scripture verses when He faced trials. We need to do the same.
  • Teach these scriptures to our kids!

 

Check out the previous blog post we did on Freak out Parenting.

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