Dating Advice for Parents-Start Early!
Relevant Radio Interview

Here’s what we covered:

Get the foundation right, and the rest follows. Cover these with your children:

1. What is the purpose of dating?
2. How do you find true love?
3. Why is purity required for true love?
4. What is purity of heart, of body, and of faith, and how are they interconnected?
5. How do I practice purity?

 

What is the purpose of dating?

• To find true love and become truly loving in a faithful, fruitful, lifelong marriage.

How do you find true love?

• Be who God is calling you to be, and you will find true love and become truly loving!
• The corollary: If you’re not trying to be who God calls you to be, and not trying to help your date become who God calls him or her to be,
  you will be a bad date, a bad lover, and a bad spouse! You will find true unhappiness!
• Preparing your children for dating starts from the beginning by preparing them for true love!
• True love requires PURITY.

Why is purity required for true love?

• God promises that the pure of heart are blessed and will see God.
• Since God is love, purity of heart allows a person to be able see what true love is and know how to pursue it.
• St Thomas Aquinas said impurity blinds our intellect and weakens our will.
• Practicing purity strengthens our will power and frees us to become truly loving.

What is purity of heart, of body, and of faith, and how are they interconnected?

• Purity of heart has to do with seeking the greatest good for others and to act with good intentions.
• Purity of body means seeking the good of my soul and other people’s souls above my own pleasure.
• Purity of faith means to love truth and pursue it.
• The three stand together and fall together.
• When I practice purity, I actually begin to love truth and truly helping others.
• When I fall to impurity, I begin to use and abuse others and become blind to truth. Practicing the Faith becomes heinous to me.

How do I practice Purity?

• For bodily purity- Fast! Fast from good things. Skip desserts. Forgo some entertainment. Don’t finish a delicious meal. Exercise. Self-inflict pain (i.e. pinch yourself). St Benedict threw himself in a thorny bush to overcome temptations to bodily impurity. This totally works!
• For heart purity- Check yourself by reflecting on your motivation for what you say or do. “Why did I really do that? Is it for the greatest good of myself and others?” Also, do ‘planned acts of kindness’ (Not just rare random ones. Be intentional and consistent!). Act in a kind way toward someone without any reward for you. If the person is distasteful or repulsive to you, all the better! You will grow in purity and grace quickly!
• For faith purity- Love God the way He asks you to love Him! Be a competent lover. You wouldn’t take your spouse golfing if she asked to go to the beach. Loving in the way a person desires to be loved is competent loving. So, God tells us “If you love Me, keep My commandments!” And regarding obeying His voice through the Church, Christ says, “He who hears you (referring to His apostles), hears Me, and he who rejects you, rejects Me!”-Luke 10:16 So, obey Christ and His Church! That is loving God with a purity of faith. Go to Mass, receive the sacraments worthily and pray daily. If you don’t love God in the way He asks, you are rejecting true love and the joy He desires to give you. Seriously, that one is on you.

If parents practice purity of heart, of body and of faith, talk to their children about it, and train them to live it, their kids will find true love and become truly loving!! They will find true happiness.
 

Comment below:
What helped you teach your kids about how to prepare to date well?

 

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